Mariachi Beluga

Surreal: A Mariachi band plays "Yellow Bird" to a Beluga whale through aquarium glass and the Beluga nods its head in time to the music, obviously enjoying the concert...another great video via my favorite daily-refreshment website, Cute Overload:

http://cuteoverload.com/2011/08/05/whale-treasures-fiesta/

I discovered from the comments by the blog readers that the aquarium is in Mystic, Connecticut, and the Beluga is a young one named Juno, verified here.

This makes me wistfully recall my long-held secret desire to learn to play the ukulele. My golden years are here, so maybe now's the time. I could serenade the penguins at the Audubon Aquarium.

Storywonk Story Generator

Having trouble coming up with a good idea for a new story or book? Try Storywonk's Story Generator. 


Here are a couple of ideas it gave me tonight: 

He's a psychotic fashion designer with an MBA from Harvard; she's a charismatic geek with an attractive smile. Together, they must learn to use their special powers before midnight. 

 He's a selfish con artist with no sense of humor; she's a respected millionaire with one leg. Together, they must put on a show in the midst of a farce.

Beaucoup entertainment for any writer!

(The site owners do warn: The small print: the StoryWonk Story Generator is not intended for serious use, and the StoryWonk minions are not responsible for any distraction, insomnia, skin rashes or fantastic novels which may result from its use.) 

Quickmeme

Judgmental Bookseller Ostrich

I just discovered Quickmeme, a website that allows posters to add their own caption to a photo. It's hilarious! The only ones I've looked at so far are Judgmental Bookseller Ostrich and Business Cat, and there are so many versions of each I couldn't view them all.

Business Cat

There are lots of other Quickmemes, too. Try it, you'll like it!

Confessions of a Book Fiend

Too true, alas, all too true...

INCIDENTAL COMICS: Confessions of a Book Fiend

New Favorite Humorous Website

I have a few favorite humorous websites I check regularly to get a few laughs. The newest is Oddly Specific, which showcases peculiar signs, signs that are...well, oddly specific! Here's a sample. (If photos don't display properly, click on box & link will take you to site.)


see more funny videos


see more funny videos


see more funny videos


see more funny videos


see more funny videos

Running of the Bulls in New Orleans!

It's that time of year again--the Running of the Bulls in New Orleans!

This is the announcement from the Times-Picayune:

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Running of the Bulls


The 3 Legged Dog, 7 a.m.
Conti Street and Burgundy Street, French Quarter


Tickets: Free
Resources: Official site
More on this event

San Fermin in Nueva Orleans replicates and pays homage to the world famous Encierro of Pamplona, Spain, or "The Running of the Bulls", only the bulls are none other than members of the Big Easy Rollergirls. The event will begin at 7 a.m. at the Three Legged Dog bar the French Quarter. Sangria, Stella Artois beer, Spanish wines and good cheer will be available. The "running," which winds through the streets of the Quarter, begins sharply at 8 a.m.

This event has grown exponentially each year since it started. Now, in only its fourth year, it's expanded to a three-day festival. It starts on Friday night with a pre-party (El Txupinazo) featuring tapas, paella, flamenco dancing, and lotsa beverages. On Saturday morning is the main event--the running of the bulls (El Encierro)--followed by rest time, then a post-run party Saturday night (La Fiesta de Pantalones) that includes a concert, more great tapas, and lotsa more beverages. (Me, I love a good Sangria.) On Sunday there is a grand finale (Pobre de Mí), about which I quote from the Nolabulls website:

WHAT: As part of the grand finale to the San Fermin in Nueva Orleans fiesta weekend, the festivities continue with the second annual Pobre de Mí (Poor Me). Featuring a savory tapas brunch menu by Vega Tapas Café and specialty drinks, the event is highlighted by the 2nd Annual Ernest Hemingway Talent Contest, a collaboration with NOLAFugees:

Death in the Afternoon Drinking Society presents Hemingway, Ole!

Six teams enter the ring, but only one will claim the big prize. Sign up now with your 2 or 3-person team (or just sign up now and draft someone on game day) to compete in this Ernest Hemingway-themed contest of nerves. Teams will perform 2-minute micro-skits (no memorization required,as there will be closely-guarded scripts provided at the event) of infamous Hemingway scenes. A panel of judges, and the audience, will decide who advances to sweet sweet victory.

What you need to participate: absolutely nothing. A sense of humor helps, but is not required.

What you do not need: any prior knowledge of Hemingway’s works or life.

What you will gain by joining the hunt: Prizes. Glory. And your photo will be made over the carcasses of your enemies.

What you stand to lose by not joining the hunt: your sense of adventure, and perhaps the ability to look your mother in the eye when she says, “Don’t worry, honey, I love you anyway.”

So unleash your inner Hemingway and enter now!

We will also roll the party directly into a live screening on multiple screens of the 2010 FIFA World Cup Final Match in South Africa!

I love the whole idea of this--it's so New Orleans and, yes, so Spanish. (Not to mention that The Rolling Elvi will be following the crowd of bull-runners....)

What fun!

Mr. Potato Head has left the building...

This is hilarious--like something from a Saturday Night Live skit:

The Elvis version of Mr. Potato Head will be released for Elvis Tribute Week, according to a Graceland spokesman.

Photo by PPW Toys

Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley Figures to Launch in August of 2010
From http://www.elvis.com/news/full_story.asp?id=2297


Elvis fans, toy collectors and pop culture enthusiasts will spend much of this summer anticipating the launch of the Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley collectible figures from PPW Toys, under license from Hasbro, Inc. and Elvis Presley Enterprises.

Mr. Potato Head appeared as KISS last year, and this year he is ready to take on the king of rock 'n' roll. A series of Mr. Potato Head collectible figures will be released, each with a variety of costumes, instruments and other iconic components representing Elvis' most memorable performances.

The first spud to be released this August in tandem with Elvis Week events at Graceland in Memphis and will feature Elvis' famous white jumpsuit, microphone and guitar. A second version with Mr. Potato Head wearing black leather from Elvis' 1968 Special Performance will be released during the 2010 holiday season. Components such as hairstyles, costumes, faces and musical instruments will be compatible with every version, so fans can mix and match the styles with hilarious results.

The Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley collectible figures will not only appeal to kids, but these figures will also be in demand by music fans and pop culture collectors of all ages. The Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley collectible figures will be available at specialty retailers and e-tailers.

Created in 1952, Mr. Potato Head, the first toy to be featured in a television commercial, became an instant hit with youngsters. In the past 58 years, the beloved character has emerged as an American icon, a true evergreen brand with broad demographic appeal.

Hasbro licensee PPW Toys suits up MR. POTATO HEAD as Elvis Presley for a unique co-branded product. An Elvis tribute artist shows off the new collectible during a launch event at Licensing International Expo 2010 in Las Vegas.

A Little Post-Oscars Comic Relief

I devoted much of last weekend to the Oscars. On Saturday I attended a day-long movie marathon that showed five of the ten Best Picture nominees. (Yep, 12 hours sitting in a movie theatre, watching five films in a row.) On Sunday I devoted six or seven hours to watching pre-show interviews and red carpet fashion commentary followed by the Academy Awards event itself.

But somehow it's not enough. I love all that stuff. I'm sorry I missed the first Saturday movie marathon in which the other five Best Picture nominees were presented.

I'm always willing to laugh at our movie mania, however, and here's a clever website (which I found on Jenny Crusie's Argh Ink blog):

Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2010

These are funny regardless whether you've seen the movies parodied, but of course they're best if you've seen the flicks.

And this -- also via alert from Argh Ink -- has nothing to do with Oscars or movies, but is extremely clever. (Couldn't understand what they were singing, but I love those Rube Goldberg devices....)

OK Go - This Too Shall Pass - Rube Goldberg Machine version


Oh, and hey -- isn't it cool a woman finally won Best Director? And for a truly worthy effort: The Hurt Locker is excellent. You go, Kathryn Bigelow!

Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah

The "Hallelujah Chorus" of Handel's Messiah is one of the most beautiful chorales ever written. Take a look at this charming, novel and humorous performance of it:

Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah

Incredible Variation on the Pride & Prejudice Spinoff

Oh my. I MUST buy this book just because of the title:

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance -- Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!

As a dedicated Jane Austen fan, with Pride and Prejudice being my all-time favorite book, I must find out how much violence the book does to the original story...

Will this be Elizabeth Bennet's worst nightmare? Will Miss Bingley, Wickham and Lydia be eaten by zombies? Will Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy still get together at the end?

Could this book make my my horror-loving friend Charles Gramlich learn to like Austen?

Thanks go to Jan B. for alerting me to it.

Darwin Awards Winners?

A friend emailed me the message below, captioned "2008 Darwin Awards." It's hilarious, so I'm sharing it with you. I double-checked it with the actual Darwin Awards website ("A chronicle of enterprising demises honoring those who improve the species...by accidentally removing themselves from it!"). The 2008 nominees listed didn't include any of these anecdotes. Perhaps they're from previous years...but the website has so many I didn't take the time to check them all.

So enjoy the stories, whether true or apocryphal, and visit the Darwin Awards website for more tales of unbelievable (and deadly) human idiocy.

"It's not the heat, it's the stupidity."
_____________________________________________

Subject: 2008 Darwin Awards

It's that time again...The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid ways.

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.

This year's winner was a real rocket scientist....HONEST!

Read on...And remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY. The awards were bestowed this year by December 6th, 2008 because the panel of judges believed that no one else could do more stupid stuff than these morons did by that time in 2008.

* * * * * * * * * * *

And the nominees were:

Semifinalist #1

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he rushed to vomit into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his unfortunate sister.

Semifinalist #2

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles (HARD to control light airplanes when everyone moves to one side).

Semifinalist #3

A 22-year-old Reston, VA man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'Major trauma.'

Semifinalist #4

A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend -- no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate -- was hospitalized.

Semifinalist #5

Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.

After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter.

Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.

*** Now, to the winner of this year's Darwin Award ***

(awarded, as always, posthumously):

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist ... had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3..0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.

The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.

The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

You couldn't make this stuff up, could you?

AND PEOPLE JUST LIKE THIS ARE ALL AROUND US TODAY - AND THEY BREED & VOTE, TOO.

Alternative Olympic Sports

My last post noted that the IOC has added BMX racing to the Games this year. In an earlier comment Steve Malley had listed BMX as one of the sports on his list of fantasy Olympics games. His others are pole dancing and dodgeball.

I suggested the addition of pogo stick. Steve Malley immediately came up with a list of pogo stick events: "single pogo, team pogo, triple-bounce for height and again for distance, single-bounce the same way, perhaps even a sort of pogo-obstacle course!"

Lana Gramlich suggested bungee jumping....(Cool, but really scary to me--no heights, please!)

Shauna Roberts suggested cat herding--it "would require athletes with speed, balance, and agility." (Claw-proof uniforms, too...that probably would be the most challenging Game of all.)

Bzzzt! (Light bulb above head) Faithful readers, what are your ideas for alternative Olympic sports?

New Olympic Sport Added This Year

In response to Excelsior, my August 12 post about the Olympics, Steve Malley commented with his typical dry wit, "I'm waiting for pole dancing, BMX biking and dodgeball to be admitted as new sports..." Well, Steve, one-third of your wait is over: BMX is now part of the Olympics, beginning with the Beijing games this year. Who knows, maybe in 2012, the IOC will add pole-dancing and dodgeball, especially since they're removing softball.

A Few Interesting Links

I recently came across some interesting blog/website links to share with you. I can't recall where I found two of them, so if those two came from any of your blogs/websites, I apologize for not being able to credit you:

1. On Indexed Jessica Hagy cleverly converts all kinds of ideas and concepts into graphs and charts. Humorous and good for a daily laugh. This has become so popular she has produced a book, which you can buy from any of several popular online booksellers through links on her website. The book's description on Amazon.com states:

A unique, hilarious take on the modern world

Jessica Hagy is a different kind of thinker. She has an astonishing talent for visualizing relationships, capturing in pictures what is difficult for most of us to express in words.

At indexed.blogspot.com, she posts charts, graphs, and Venn diagrams drawn on index cards that reveal in a simple and intuitive way the large and small truths of modern life.

Praised throughout the blogosphere as "brilliant," "incredibly creative," and "comic genius," Jessica turns her incisive, deadpan sense of humor on everything from office politics to relationships to religion.

With new material along with some of Jessica's greatest hits, this utterly unique book will thrill readers who demand humor that makes them both laugh and think.

2. Contrarywise is a website featuring literary tattoos--tattoos based on books, poems, lyrics, and many other things. The site is simple: a photo of each tattoo, with a blurb underneath setting out the exact language used in the tattoo, and usually an explanation of why the person chose it. Some of the tattoos are copies of illustrations from books rather than quotations, such as the rocking-horse fly by Victorian illustrator John Tenniel from the 1871 first edition of Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll.

It's fascinating to see the quotations people choose to wear on their bodies. I'm not into tattooing myself, but if I were to get one it would be a quotation from a book. For example, an excellent one recently posted is a quotation from Gandhi: "My life is my message."

3. On The Ninth Muse, my friend roz m has a link to Wordle, which she says "makes a word cloud that visualizes the word frequency in a passage you copy to the wordle site. You can experiment with different layouts, colors, and fonts until you find the image that makes you most content. This seems like a good tool to use in writing; it could allow you to see what the dominant words (and the ideas linked to them) are in a chapter or scene." Clever idea. Thanks, Roz, for the link and for your description of it. (Unfortunately, I wasn't able to experiment with it on my aging and cranky home computer, but I plan to try it on my office computer next week.)

Hurricane Preparedness?

After posting a serious entry on Hurricane Katrina's aftereffects earlier this week (Katrina Tattoos), I'm going for the funnybone now.

A friend who lives on the Mississippi Gulf Coast sent me the following humorous e-mail. (Her hometown of Pascagoula was devastated by Katrina.)

This is a witty sendup of the many "hurricane preparedness" tip sheets distributed this time of year. It's going around the Internet via e-mail, with nothing to identify the original author, so I assume it's not subject to copyright protection and reprint it in its entirety.
_______________________________________________

Special Message from the Gulf Coast FEMA Office
Subject: Hurricane Preparedness 2008

To ex-Gulf Coastians, present Coastians, and future Coastians or those who know a Coastian: Hurricane season is upon us. It begins June 1 and ends November 30.

Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points:

1. There is no need to panic.
2. We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be on the Gulf Coast. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one."

Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here on the Coast.

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE

If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:

1. It is reasonably well-built, and
2. It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located on the Coast, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.

So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane Katrina, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS

Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets.

There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

• Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.
• Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.
• Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

"HURRICANE-PROOF" WINDOWS

These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

"HURRICANE PROOFING" YOUR PROPERTY

As the hurricane approaches,check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc. You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE

If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says Biloxi, Gulfport, Long Beach, Bay St. Louis, Gautier, Pascagoula, Waveland, etc.you live in a low-lying area.)

The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES

If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Gulf Coast tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of Spam.

In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

• About 23 flashlights.
• At least $167 worth of batteries that, when the power goes out, turn out to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
• Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. It's tradition, so GET some!)
• A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
• A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
• A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Katrina; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
• $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the Gulf and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the Gulf.

Good luck and remember: It's great living in paradise! Those of you who aren't here yet, you should come.

Really!
_______________________________________________

Once again, I can't take credit for this clever parody. Kudos to the Unknown Wit who composed it.

The Running of the Bulls...er, Cows,...er, Roller Girls

(Photo from http://nolabulls.com/default.aspx.)

Ah, the Big Easy! New Orleanians are always coming up with new things to celebrate and new ways to wear costumes and get wild. The latest craze is the Running of the Bulls, New Orleans-style. Imitating the annual encierro in Pamplona, Spain, a local group has organized to celebrate the Festival of San Fermin by analogy to the bull-running made famous by Ernest Hemingway (The Sun Also Rises; Death in the Afternoon).

Like the runners in Pamplona, the participants here dress in white pants and shirt with red sashes and neck scarfs. Unlike the runners in Pamplona, however, the New Orleans runners are chased by the Big Easy Roller Girls, a local team of roller derby pros. For the event, Roller Girls (self-described by one Roller Girl as "a bunch of bad-ass chicks on wheels") carry wiffle bats and wear horns.

The Running of the Bulls, New Orleans style, first took place last year. I don't recall reading or hearing anything about it back then, so I was doubly amused to read Chris Rose's column on Thursday announcing it. The 2008 bull run took place on Saturday (July 12) and hundreds of people participated. The route goes through the French Quarter (of course), and includes stops at two "watering holes" (e.g., bars) along the way (of course).

I've come across some amusing blog entries on the run. Pontchartrain Pete calls it "a winner of a new tradition." Humid City has photos: Roller Girls in their bull costumes; the field of runners in their costumes. Local TV station WWL's website has photos of a guy in full toreador garb, as well as The Rolling Elvi--Elvis impersonators on scooters. And there are videos posted on YouTube, of course.

Looks like the Running of the Bulls will become one of N.O.'s midsummer draws: Last year 150 runners were pursued by 14 Rollergirls; this year there over 600 runners and 33 Rollergirls--exponential increases!

And animal lovers can rest easy: no real bulls are used.

(The official title of the event is San Fermin in Nueva Orleans. I briefly considered that perhaps the subtitle should be The Running of the Cows--since all the "bulls" are in fact females--until I realized it would have completely different implications. Dropped the idea quickly.)

The Sound of Success

The great thing about newspapers is that the factoids are more fun than the real news. For example, this Associated Press article from earlier this week grabbed my attention.


It reports that Velcro USA marked the 50th anniversary of its patent of the hook-and-loop fastener by lining one-and-a-half miles of Manchester, N.H. streets with employees who performed a "wave" by tearing apart swatches of Velcro in succession.

You can even see video of the big event here.


I love it. Saturday Night Live couldn't have thought this one up. And let us all give tribute to the inimitable hook-and-loop fastener, without which our world would be far less convenient, and much less fun.

Viva La Velcro!

Louisiana Queens

In the midst of writing a new post that is going to be elegant, discursive, and celebratory, I realized I couldn't finish it today--I have to look up further info to make it complete, fact-check, etc., etc.

But I wanted to put up something new on the blog, so here we are: Ta-dahhhh! Louisiana Queens!

I'm thinking Louisiana has more queens than any other state. We have carnival queens, festival queens, and of course, cross-dressing queens. We even have dog queens.

Photo: 2008 Louisiana Association of Fairs and Festivals Queen of Queens, Brandi Stout (2007-2008 Miss Zwolle Tamale Fiesta Queen)


If the legislature ever decides to change the motto on our auto license plates--which has been "Sportman's Paradise" for as long as I can remember--I suggest LOUISIANA--THE QUEENLY STATE.

And, by the way, creds for giving me the idea to a couple of local blogs I just discovered--NOLA Notes and Pontchartrain Pete. (Their Queens entries are in their archives--here for NOLA Notes and here for Pontchartrain Pete.)

And this is off the subject, but too good not to share: NOLA Notes' "Ode to Galatoire's" (one of the storied New Orleans restaurants).

Closing thought: Being a blogger is like being a stand-up comic--we "borrow" a lot of material.

"The Long Slow Revenge of Inanimate Objects"

Tim Hallinan has a great post on his blog today, "Long Slow Revenge." It's hilarious, yet sobering. Haven't we all had days like this...or perhaps not quite as bad as his day was.

I spend a lot of time trying to fight my way through the piles of inanimate objects--especially books--I've surrounded myself with over the years. I never thought, 25 years ago, that my love for buying rather than borrowing books, and for keeping memorabilia, would come to overwhelm me. Because, of course, being a procrastinator, I've continually put off the all-important technique of organizing my collections. Every now and then a box full of whatevers falls off its stack and spills all over the place, and I must pick up, rearrange, reorganize, etc....yet it's never done.

My sympathies, Tim. May you wreak vengeance on those objects! Let us say unto them, "The mills of Tim grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small...."

Retribution

THOUGH the mills of God grind slowly,

Yet they grind exceeding small;

Though with patience he stands waiting,

With exactness grinds he all.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Two for the Price of One

Gasp! It's been a while since I last posted. I hope all of you in blogland haven't given up on me. I won't offer excuses for my silence. Suffice it to say, I'm back.

Why not celebrate my return online with something funny? Check out this hilarious review of The Twilight Lord, a Bertrice Small book, from RipMyBodice.com: 2 for the price of 1. Hint: The heroine has two lovers. One of the lovers has two, er...appendages...and, well, read the review to find out the shocking story!

My reaction? Eeewww.

I admit to having read several Bertrice Small books years ago. Her characters' sexual escapades are, well, not in tune with my fantasies, so I stopped reading her. She's still a bestselling romance author, however, and I'm sure her bank account hasn't noticed that I'm no longer buying her books.